Fiat Lux

In the spirit of NaBloPoMo, I thought I'd try to post more frequently this month. (All the cool kids are doing it, after all.) Perhaps, instead of writing one or two obnoxiously long posts per week, I'll write posts of a more manageable length. We shall see.

So, I am on a retreat this week, which has been quite a blessing. Georgetown Law's Office of Campus Ministry puts on a semi-annual Prayer in Daily Life Retreat, in which we meet with a spiritual director every day and are guided to pray with and reflect upon scripture. The retreat is coming at a good point in the semester, because it allows me to address the struggles that I've encountered spiritually so far in law school, while also preparing myself spiritually for finals, which start in a scant four-and-a-half weeks.

I have been deeply challenged by the lack of accountability here. Gone are the days of living in a community of Christian women, praying with Cindy and Carla, et al., each morning, attending two to three Bible studies each week, and spending more time at Newman than in my own house on some days. I miss it so deeply, and yet--not to frighten those of you in Berkeley, but--this is not how the rest of the world functions, I'm afraid to say. I am learning that, as much as I can seek out groups of Catholics my age for fellowship, I must find other ways to hold myself accountable to God's desire for faith, hope, and love.

As most of you know, I am something of a word nerd, and one manifestation of that is to compulsively look up words in dictionaries and thesauri. (I cannot begin to describe how much joy my Mac's dictionary/thesaurus widget has brought me.) Incidentally, as I was writing the previous paragraph, I looked up synonyms for "frighten," because I didn't like how the sentence read with "afraid" at the end. One of the synonyms listed is "put the fear of God into," and that makes me reconsider the context of the sentence. I take it back--I hope I do frighten you! Knowing that other synonyms for that phrase are to "be in awe of," "venerate," and "respect" God, I hope that you are in awe of the gifts that God has given you, and cherish the communities that you have. One often doesn't fully appreciate something until one feels its absence, and this is very true of my profound relationships with the Beta chapter of Alpha Delta Chi, and the campus ministry of Newman Hall Holy Spirit Parish. You guys realize that I think about you literally every Monday and Tuesday, respectively, right? You're in my prayers.

However, do not think that feeling the absence of these fellowships leads me to despair. No, I simply must learn other ways to work on my relationship with God. And, I have never turned away from an opportunity to learn. In the words of the seal of the University of California, and of Genesis 1:3, "Let there be light."

Amen.