Mercy

As I sit here in Starbucks, studying and sipping my hazelnut latte, I cannot help but take a moment to reflect up those outside of this brick building, those who cannot afford a warm meal, let alone a four-dollar drink. On my way here, I passed by a harried, middle-aged woman, clearly out of her mind, who was wailing to the sky about someone who had failed her. I thought Berkeley had made me fairly seasoned in coping with encounters with the homeless and mentally ill, but D.C. reaches a whole new magnitude. In my last post, I referenced the lawyer in Luke's Gospel who asked, "And, who is my neighbor?" This is a question with which I struggle in this city. As I passed the wailing woman, a man walking near me commented with a Southern accent, "Bless her heart," and smiled at me with sad eyes. I nodded and smiled back wanly, furrowing my brow as I grappled with feelings of guilt and compassion toward the woman.

I would love to reach out to her, but, frankly, I don't want to put myself in harm's way. Since I moved to D.C., homeless people have scowled at me, yelled at me, sworn at me, made sexual advances toward me, slapped me on the butt, and one old woman even struck me on the back. In Berkeley, I felt comfortable going up to homeless people to give them food or change, or even to ask if I could pray for them, but here I don't even feel safe making eye contact. How do I show mercy toward someone of whom I am afraid? On the streets, I pray silently for the needy people that I see, but I wish I knew how else to help. Is it wrong to protect myself instead of reaching out to them? It makes me feel hypocritical, but I don't know what else to do.

Stickler

Erin had a great post yesterday about Luke's Gospel, in which she mentioned Jesus' interactions with lawyers.

It's interesting that she should bring up the New Testament lawyer references... The homily at Georgetown Law's chapel on October 26 addressed this, actually, since the Gospel reading was Matthew 22:34-40, in which a "scholar of the law" asks Jesus, "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" As a part of his homily, Fr. Alexei read us the synoptic passage in Luke 10:25-37 (because it is a little more detailed), joking that Jesus acted exactly like a law school professor. When the lawyer asked Jesus a question, Jesus presented a hypothetical situation, and then made the lawyer answer the question himself. That is exactly what we do here in law school.

Granted, when the New Testament refers to "scholars of the law," they mean the scribes well-versed in Mosaic law, not lawyers as we understand them today, but whenever I read a verse that vilifies lawyers, it nonetheless makes me hesitate. I mean, even when I was young, one of the facile conclusions that I reached about the Bible was, "Thank God I'm not a scribe or a Pharisee! They do everything wrong!" Now, I understand that I need to look more closely at the attributes of scribes and Pharisees to analyze whether I am making the same mistakes.

So, what is it that lawyers do wrong? As Erin referenced, Jesus explains this in Luke 11:45-46, 52-54:

Then one of the scholars of the law said to him in reply, "Teacher, by saying this you are insulting us too." And he said, "Woe also to you scholars of the law! You impose on people burdens hard to carry, but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them. [...] Woe to you, scholars of the law! You have taken away the key of knowledge. You yourselves did not enter and you stopped those trying to enter." When he left, the scribes and Pharisees began to act with hostility toward him and to interrogate him about many things, for they were plotting to catch him at something he might say.

In short, lawyers are sticklers. Lawyers use pedantic interpretations of the law to manipulate the world around them, helping themselves and hurting their opponents. And, sure, I'm only a law student, maybe I don't have any culpability--yet. But, I'm being trained in the art of exploiting language to my advantage, and that has dangerous implications. I looked up "legalist" in the OED, and the second definition is "a stickler for legality." "Legality," in turn, is defined as "attachment to or observance of law or rule." I think that is the danger against which Jesus is warning--attachment to the law as it is written, above justice, above mercy, above God. Indeed, the OED's first definition for "legalism" is the theological one: "applied reproachfully to the principles of those who are accused of adhering to the Law as opposed to the Gospel" (emphasis added). The challenge of a lawyer, then, in the words of my my mother, is to "use your power for good, not evil." Amen.

Your Friend Forever

"My guest tonight wants to help underprivileged kids go to college. Well, if they major in English, they'll become underprivileged adults."
- Stephen Colbert (season 4, episode 157)

Harsh words, Mr. Colbert--especially coming from a theater major! I thought you would have more respect for those of us in the humanities, particularly in light of your honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts, but I guess I was wrong. I'm not going to lie, Stephen, I'm a little disappointed in you.

In other news,

I survived my first law school final exam! Huzzah!

It wasn't that bad, to be frank. The questions were fair, I was capable of answering the questions, and no major disasters transpired. It was a good way to start off final exam season. My Torts professor is so sweet, by the way. He's one of those older professors who reminds you of your favorite grandparent. At the end of a handout that he gave us going over the exam instructions, he wrote, "Have a great holiday after. Feel free to contact me in future years if I can be of any help at all. -- Your friend forever, Paul." My friend forever?! Could he be any nicer? I think not.

Anyhow, I am ten days and two exams away from winter break, my family, and everything that I miss about California! :-) Now, time to study some Constitutional Law.

‘Twas the Night Before Torts

‘Twas the night before Torts, when all through Georgetown
Not a first-year was sleeping, for none could calm down;
The outlines were reviewed by the students with care,
In hopes that comprehension soon would be there;
The 1Ls were weary, their hearts filled with dread,
While visions of negligence danced in their heads;
And mocha in hand for a practice exam,
I had just settled down to frantically cram,
When out in the quad there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
And pulled up the blinds with a thunderous clash,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of Gewirz! to the Capitol Mall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
Then they, to my awe, met my burden of proof
With the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
I felt in my heart a new hope abound.
Up the elevator St. Nicholas came with a grin,
And knocked on my door—he made quite a din!
As he walked in, the consent was implied;
No trespass to land was intended or tried.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And completed my outlines; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, he allayed all my woes;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew as though by judge’s dismissal.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy studies to all; may your errors be slight!”

Fingers Crossed

I had requested tickets to the Inauguration right after the election from Rep. Anna Eshoo, who is my representative for California's 14th Congressional District, hoping against hope that I might get a ticket. (Obama is all about hope, after all.)

Well, I got an email this evening from Eshoo announcing that she will be conducting a lottery for the tickets. Only those that submitted requests between July and November are eligible, and each lottery winner will receive only one ticket. To enter in the lottery, we have to fill out a new form on Eshoo's website by Monday, and she'll email the winners on Friday. Eshoo said that she had received 3,289 requests. With each congressperson getting 200 tickets, that gives me about a 6% chance of getting a ticket.

Actually, I think my odds are a little better than that, for several reasons: (1) some people won't bother filling out the form, (2) some people will give up because it is impossible to book a hotel room in D.C. at this point, (3) some people won't want to go alone with only one ticket per winner, and (4) some people won't be able to pick up the tickets at Eshoo's D.C. office in person with a photo ID before the Inauguration, which is required. So, we'll see what happens!

How is your prayer life?

David asked me the quintessential Fr. Charlie question tonight: "How is your prayer life?" What started out as a quick written response soon became a rather long reflection upon the trajectory of my spirituality this semester. I though I'd post my introspection here, as well.

My prayer life is pretty good. Something that I learned about myself this semester is that I cannot help but be involved in my parish community... I seriously cannot stop myself from doing stuff! I have some sort of compulsion for Catholic service. I moved into the dorms on a Saturday, went to church at the little on-campus chapel the following day, and immediately started helping out with the lector and Eucharistic ministries. Three weeks into school, I was a part of Catholic Forum, and had started a new Bible study. I was amused by several people telling me that they had assumed I was a second or third year, because I was already so involved with campus ministry. After 5 semesters on Seekers leadership and 3 on SMT, I had been looking forward to just being served by the Georgetown community for a while, but, when I got here, it was very evident to me that the community itself needed service. So, here I am.

But, that doesn't really answer the question, now, does it? I just described my communal interactions with the church, not my inner relationship with God. This is a chronic mistake for me, to equate church busyness with spirituality. While there is a spiritual element to the work, it alone a prayer life does not make. So, allow me to answer the real question.

September and October were a bit of a spiritual recession for me. I wasn't praying daily, and I interacted with Scripture only two or three times per week. I didn't realize what a negative effect this was having on me at first, but by October, I felt like something was off. Another perpetual struggle for me is trusting in God instead of relying upon myself for strength, and that started to show up more and more by the end of October. Thankfully, Campus Ministry had a retreat in the first week of November, which helped me a lot to think about prayer in daily life (the retreat's theme). It was very on-point.

So, November has been a good month, spiritually. I started to find more of a rhythm, doing something spiritual each morning and evening. I do different things depending on how I feel and how much time I have, but I make a point of doing something: the daily readings, the Rosary, journaling, reading a devotional book, the Liturgy of the Hours...

The past couple of weeks, I've had an inexplicable feeling of excitement and anticipation growing within me about Advent. I really do love the Christmas season. It's a chance to celebrate the coming of Christ, to spend time with family, and to express my gratitude for the blessings in my life. So, my prayer life is great right now. I don't know how I'd be doing if I didn't have God in my life as a law student. Some of the students around here are so stressed out. It makes me feel sad for them, and I try to reach out as I am able, but there aren't many opportunities. I really want to be an RA in the law school dorm next year--I think it would be a great way to bring a little more sanity and sanctity to this campus.

So, in this first week of Advent, which is all about hope, I am filled with hope. I hope that finals will go smoothly, and I trust that God will carry me through. I hope that God will use me to reach out to those hungering for His love here at Georgetown Law. I hope that I will continue to have the Holy Spirit fruitfully directing my passions. Amen.

So, how is your prayer life?

Peace

As a graduate of UC Berkeley, I am accustomed to unique personalities roaming onto campuses to proclaim their beliefs. I'm all for free speech. In the words of one of my favorite movie presidents, Andrew Shepherd, in his powerful speech at the end of The American President,

"America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, 'You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.'"

Absolutely! However, at Berkeley, the speakers are on Sproul Plaza. You don't see them in the quads of the dorms, or on the lawn of a fraternity, or in front of apartment complexes. They are somewhat self-contained. Here in D.C., however, people seem to think that the expanse of scraggy grass that runs along the I-395 off-ramp next to my dormitory, is a great place to express themselves. And, you know, I'm even okay with that. Hand out pamphlets, give speeches, sell things to the cars stopped in traffic... go for it!

However, I think the man currently standing outside my window with a bullhorn is crossing the line. He is proclaiming the salvation of Jesus Christ, but he is not doing so in a productive manner. I doubt that law students studying for final exams will be receptive to his disruptively loud message. (We have double-paned windows that block out the sound of the interstate, and I can still hear him.) I've been told that he always comes by the law school during finals season to wreak havoc, including by directing his bullhorn at the library, which also borders the off-ramp. I just don't think that the Prince of Peace would try to reach out to people in this way.

I hope he finds peace, in more ways than one.